The Era of St. Nick

Well, it's done. Nick Saban is the new coach of the Alabama Crimson Tide. May he be what we need to climb back on top--Of course, the Tide is always tops to me!! Roll Tide!!

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Back to Routine:

Just back from Florida over the holidays and miss my family already. That's the most important thing in life--actual and otherwise "family". Nuclear family, extended family, Church family, etc. That is what makes life sweet and worth living. I thank the Lord for my husband, my two sons and all the other family members! We had a wonderful time, but it was way too short! How I look forward to moving down there in the summer!

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What Today Brings:

Today is a historic one: a woman will become Speaker of the House. Other than that, I cringe at what that woman will try to do. Already there is work afoot to silence the majority of us by stopping our non-profit watchdogs over the government from warning us so we can mail/email/call our Congressmen about issues we care about. They would label these groups as "lobbyist", make them register and report all finances, etc. These groups do not directly contact the Congress members, just facilitate our doing so. There is a vitriolic and suppressive liberal movement that would silence all of us if we do not take heed! This would also affect anything that wishes to promote a cause, including all nursing or medical oriented organizations trying to promote causes for those professions--beware!!

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Life Lessons.......


And finally, what Life Lesson shall I share today? That there is hope for healing from Co-Dependency!

I was the step-daughter of an abusive alcoholic, and the whole family was sick with co-dependency. When someone did something wrong, it was always someone else's fault--"You made me....." was a favorite phrase. I still struggle with some of the remnants, but one area has been permanently changed for I have a new favorite phrase: "I am responsible for everything I do, I say, I think, and I feel. I am NOT responsible for anything you do, you say, you think, or you feel; you always have the choice to think for yourself and change how you feel by changing your thoughts." When my sons do something wrong, they are the ones responsible for their actions, not me. I have tried to be the best mother I have known how to be and teach them right from wrong. If they do something wrong, they need to face the consequences for that action. I will not "rescue" them, but I will also not stand by and see them railroaded for something someone else has done. I've had to face down school administrators who tried to punish my sons for actions they did not do (and it was proven to be the case), but I have also taken the school's side for actions they have committed out of carelessness and stupidity (yes, all youth are stupid at times, including my sons!).

If I had not learned this lesson, I would not be the person I am, I would be divorced, and my children would be terribly crippled emotionally with the same problems I had as a teenager. See, as the step-child, everything was MY fault. It was "my fault" my mother had divorced my father (or vice versa); it was "my fault" my mother married my step-father to have a husband to prevent my father getting custody; it was "my fault" they had my half-sister so my mother would still have a child if my father did get custody (thereby "trapping" her in the marriage with my step-father--of course, why had she not felt "trapped" in the marriage with my father and stayed with him? This stuff is totally illogical.); it was "my fault" if I was abused, demeaned, almost killed ("you made me do it" was something I heard over and over). My sister set me up to be the one punished for what she had done--till I did the same to her and made sure she had a proper and thorough whipping by taking it with her while denying I did the punishable deed--the threat afterwards that it would happen again if she ever set me up was life-changing!

What a relief it was to have finally assigned the responsibility to the people who committed the actions! The scars are still there and I can still access the anguish if I choose to dwell on the past, but there is also healing and peace that I was just a kid in a very bad situation. I was not one of the adults making the decisions for the family and God kept the abuse below what I could not bear. I was not responsible for anyone else's behaviors or choices. Not my mother's, not my step-father's, not my sister's, not my brother's. Only mine. And looking back, I really wasn't a bad kid, just a kid in a bad situation. I choose to dwell on the benefits of my history: I can empathize with others who have been in similar situations; I understand pain, grief, despair, privation; most of all, I know that with God, all things are possible and can be overcome!!

Life Lessons worth living by!!